THE WAY

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I want need to explore the different ways of coping with life’s trials.
So often we don’t know the way to handle situations, but regardless of the circumstance the best way is to always respect others; their personal requests and personal space. Something that you may not give a second thought, can affect someone else immensely. For example, some of us have what are called triggers. Actions, sights and even smells that bring to mind events of our past. Whether it is a distant or recent memory, if it is a bad one triggers can have a very negative affect. These emotions can be dealt with and overcome but the one thing that holds true about painful memories is that they never completely go away. If you are willing to take advantage of therapy related methods, you can learn how to navigate these emotions. However there are triggers that can always take you back to that place of fear, shame, anger or sadness.

One of the most difficult adjustments to triggers are outside forces. People that invade your personal space and violate your serenity. How? By not having the proper respect for someone’s space and feelings we can be the culprit. If a person does not want to hear a certain song, have their picture taken, smell or consume alcohol or even eat certain foods that should be respected without inquisition or fanfare. It simply could be that a particular song reminds them of a time in their life that was unpleasant. In this day and age having one’s picture taken may trigger a sorrowful memory of someone taking inappropriate pictures of them as a child or maybe it is not even about the picture. It could be the feeling that someone is trying to force you to do something that you do not want to do. For the past few years, someone taking your picture has taken on a new meaning. Social media and instant access to the internet can make a person feel even more vulnerable. The bottom line is that a person has the right not to have their photograph taken. That is a personal and intimate undertaking, after all it is their likeness not yours. So what gives you the right? Put yourself in their situation if only for a few seconds. Snapping a picture of someone after being asked not to is like asking someone “Is this seat taken?” And when they say “yes”, you sit there anyway…just not acceptable. It may seem that I am ranting about picture taking, and I am. If not done with consent, people need to understand that it is a violation of a persons personal space and can trigger a string of negative emotions.

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The smell of a certain cologne, alcohol, cigarette or cigar can take you back to a time when those smells accompanied abuse, assault, humiliation or any mistreatment. So the next time someone’s says no, you don’t have to understand it, you just need to respect it.

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