5 Steps of Self Evaluation

Before you start to renovate you must evaluate. You cannot or better yet should not renovate without an assessment of what you have, what you need to get rid of and what you can repurpose.
Before I list the 5 let me share this with you:

A close friend and I have an ongoing dialogue about change. My argument is that if you want change you have to go thru a degree of discomfort. This holds true whether it is minuscule or grandiose; for example: if you are lying in bed and you want to change positions, while changing positions you will have a level of discomfort. Your physicality will more than likely determine the degree of discomfort. If you are fit and have no injuries the discomfort level will be minor, possibly even undetectable but there is some level of stress on your body because of movement. That being said, when we make changes, the more dire our situation is and depending on how drastic the change, it is going to be very uncomfortable. If you have surgery to make some type of improvement to self, the transformation process and recovery is quite uncomfortable. However the results are what makes it worth it. If you are making changes emotionally then there will be painful emotions to deal with but on the other side is clarity, sense of purpose and well-being. The bottom line is that you cannot change and have positive results without going thru pain and discomfort. Trying to change without discomfort is like looking at a jewelry box and expecting it to open and for the jewelry to adorn you on it’s own; impossible. If you want those enhancements you must do the work.

Allowing fear to paralyze you will get you nothing. Being courageous will get you everything. Notice that I said allowing fear to paralyze you. You can be afraid. You just can’t let it stop you. The longer you put off self-evaluation and transformation, the more time you waste not living your best life. If fear is paralyzingly you, start slowly but the worst thing you can do is to be still. You cannot keep doing the same thing and expect different results. On your journey to the best you be determined to step outside of your comfort zone and and widen your scope as to what you think is doable. You can do just about anything you want. You just have to want it enough.

1. Determine who you truly are. Be honest with yourself about who you feel you are as a person, your strengths, your weaknesses and your personality. This will not work unless you are totally honest with yourself.

2. Determine what your image is. Self image is exactly what it says; who you imagine you are or aspire to be. How do you want to portray yourself. This is not a pretense or facade. It is an enhancement and projection of your true self.

3. Ask someone close to you to give you an honest assessment of your personality traits, habits and attitudes. It is okay to ask someone that truly knows you; for example a parent, sibling or close friend. There are some aspects of our personalities that we don’t see clearly. Sometimes the unbiased opinion from someone that knows us well and has known us for a long time will help round out a self-evaluation but remember that you know the most about yourself and your inner feelings and experiences. So use this information as a reference and comparison to your own thoughts. Don’t rely on anyone else’s opinion completely.

4. Determine what is absolutely necessary in your life; things that you feel you cannot live without.
This includes objects and feelings. Then ask your self why. Write them down because if you cannot give a clear reason for wanting these things in your life, you probably don’t need them. Go back over the list and write down what brought the objects into your life and what circumstances caused the emotions. A) Objects and emotions that help you to be the best you. B) determine where they came from or how they came about.

5. Repeat number 4 but this time decide which objects and emotions you no longer need. A) the objects and emotions that are keeping you from becoming your best you B)Determine where they came from or how they came about.

Allow yourself to ponder these things. Remember that a journey can only be taken one step at a time. *

* The author of this blog is not a physician. The statements mentioned above are merely suggestions and should only be used as inspiration. Do not substitute this information for doctor’s care or professional therapy.



Self~Evaluation Breeds ~ Motivation ~ Creation ~ Innovation ~ Renovation

In an effort to better yourself, it is necessary to self-evaluate. Examine yourself and decide what needs to be changed or tweaked, what needs to be enhanced and what needs to be totally done away with. To become your best y-o-u; you must examine yourself, your intentions, desires, true feelings and needs. This self examination requires honest and raw emotional and physical discovery. It may involve dealing with issues from the past or present. This more than likely will not be pleasant, but the results will be. Think of it as cleansing or purifying. If inanimate objects in our lives such as cars, computers and appliances require maintenance, why wouldn’t we need that even more so. Although it is true that living beings and things have the ability to self regenerate or renew, it is still important to do this manually. Why? Think about your computer. Thru technology this insensate object periodically updates and gets rid of or recycles excess information. However sometimes we have to or choose to manually remove files. We have the option to remove what we no longer need or want.

Maintenance is extremely important as well. everything including self has to be maintained otherwise it will break down, stop functioning properly and disintegrate. Realization of one’s true self is only achieved thru examination, maintenance and renewal. Next time I will share with you my thoughts on this process of self-evaluation that leads to motivation ~ creation ~ innovation and ~ renovation.

By T. Michelle Jacobs

The Journey

~”The Way”~ I want to share with everyone what this book has done and continues to do for me. It made me cry, it made me laugh and it made me think. I purposely didn’t laboriously detail the story lines because the power is in the emotion. My style of writing poetry is thru storytelling. I decided to set the stories in the feelings of the characters. The healing words I use are meant to ‘crowd out’ the negative feelings. The 4th subtitle “Peace of Me” harnesses a mixture of sadness, joy, passion & compassion. It is written in a way that thru reading, hopefully you will find the ‘Peace of You’. After you read it please let me know your experience.~
Sincerely, T. Michelle Jacobs

A poem from “The Way” :

For so long I carried a burden, It was such a heavy load
It weighed upon my shoulders, as I struggled on the road
I strapped it on my back and carried it to and fro
No matter how hard it weighed on me, I would not let it go
I climbed the highest mountain, I swam the oceans deep
I never let my burden go, no matter how long or steep
I passed some other travelers, along my journey’s path
I faced some storms and windy trails, even winter’s wrath
Someone who passed wold ask me, “May I help you carry it?”
At least Stop here and put it down, take time to rest a bit
But I shook my head and told them, I must continue on
And carry this all by myself, my trip is far and long
I can not let you help me, my mind is set in stone
I’ve decided for my self that I must take this trip alone
My heart has no room for a companion to embrace
There’s so much pain inside of me, I do not have the space
There is no way you can help me, of that there is no doubt
If I let you carry it, you may not know the route
I asked my God to help me, I prayed so many times
I felt he had abandoned me and all the fault was mine
Eventually I buckled under the pressure of it all
I felt so low it seemed that I was only two feet tall
I dropped down to my knees and prayed to be set free
of all the pain inside my heart and the anguish drowning me
I cried to God, “I need you, to take this heavy load!
he said, “I tried to take it but you would not let it go.
I’m always here to help you. I never leave your side.
I want so much to help you and to make the ache subside
But you would not accept it, the comfort that I give.
I want you to be happy and enjoy the life you live.
I sent you my direction, a map to guide your way.
I sent you friends and helpers to get you thru each day
And even when you felt alone, someone was always there,
For there are many in your life that treasure you and care.
Accept the help that is given to you. It will only make you strong.
If someone joins you on the way, your trip won’t seem so long.
Your journey has a purpose; there is so much life to live.
If you travel properly, forever I will give.
Of course you’ll have some baggage as every traveler will
but all must balance out the load and help each other ’til
I take away all the burdens and end the road that leads
to paradise, eternal life and fulfill all travelers’ needs.
There will be no need for baggage because all you need is there.
Until then carry what you need and know I am always there.”

By T. Michelle Jacobs





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As the year settles in you may be thinking about what you want to accomplish. Accomplishments are wonderful. Goals are phenomenal. The one thing that I refuse to do is have regrets. It is very easy to get depressed over things not accomplished and goals not reached. However dwelling on that aspect of your life is not productive or beneficial to your well-being. This is what I am determined to do:

1. Realize that where I am is where I need to be. Meaning what? Where I am in my life is where I have been mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially capable of being. If I was mentally capable of being somewhere different, I would be. If I was physically capable of doing everything that I want to do I would be doing it….spiritually, I am doing everything I can and I am CONFIDENT that my Creator knows that. Everything that he has for me, I have or He is helping me work toward having. Emotionally I am capable of feeling only the way that I feel. Financially I have what I have. If I could have more or needed more, I would have it or learn to do without it. Is this a copout? No. Why?

2. Be a work in progress. As long as I am moving forward, I am progressing. I can motivate myself and I can be motivated but I can only take one step at a time. It is how hard I work that determines how much I gain altho I do not determine that by what I have but how I feel. Learning never ceases. I know more this year than I knew last year. I am better today than I was yesterday. I haven’t accomplished everything that I wanted to but I have accomplished things that I had not accomplished before. My work continues.

3. Help others to heal thru my books and other endeavors. One of my accomplishments was writing and having my first book published. My belief is that positive words heal and I am determined to be a part of my healing process as well as anyone that can be soothed with my words.

4. I will LOVE. The heart that loves has no room for hostility. Negative and harmful emotions damage the mind and the figurative heart. Covering all with love doesn’t mean that I will never have bad feelings toward anyone or anything but it does mean that I will allow my love to force it out. There is poem in my book called “I Have Learned” and the premise is this: Life will carry on, regardless if another stops but the experiences we face give us the knowledge, wisdom and strength we need.

5. Never give up.


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The year has gone by, it went out singing
The pain of the year is passed but still stinging
The joy of the days are yet counting the ways
My love for you will be bringing
Light to your heart, understanding to your troubles
Healing to your a ache, water to your drought
Walk to your place, count the steps and your grace
You will no longer go without
Be not discouraged, hold on to your faith
Fear nothing,be brave
Your brethren’s slave
Love and be loved, undo harm, right wrongs
Kiss and be kissed, give graciously
Work hard for your worth, rejoice in every birth
Carry out every duty tenaciously
Call on the sick, give to the needy
Do not be selfish, vengeful or greedy
Forgive, be forgiven. Remember, be remembered
Cherish and be cherished. Be embraced and embrace
Fulfill the unfulfilled. Hold on and be held
Stand up to your challenges and obstacles face
Appreciate who you are and desire to become
Strive to be the best version of you
Grasp the past year for what it has given and taken
Then let go……. and welcome the new

By T. Michelle Jacobs